Mentoring (Part 1) - Rev Allister Lane
READINGS: PSALM 114, MATTHEW 18:15-20, AND ROMANS 13:8-14
We have here today three readings telling us heaps about relationship – true relationship. Together they tell us about relationship with God, and relationship with one another.
Last week we reflected on the story of Exodus – and the first Passover where the blood of the lamb became the symbol of salvation. What we highlighted in this pivotal event (where God liberates Israel from slavery) is that it helps us to locate our own experience in the big story of God.
And why is this important? What’s the benefit for us; of locating our experiences in this big story?
Well, by recognising ourselves as part of a big story, we see how there is a continuity that starts before our lifetime and carries on after us. Our faith has a ‘continuity across generations’.
So, as a major part of this recognition that we are part of a big story, we have committed as a to intergenerational faith formation. It’s not just about us. We exist for the sake of one another. We are here to grow faith and pass it on to others – those around us, and those yet to be born.
You may remember that last week we acknowledged that
Faith is communally transmitted and communally sustained.
Today’s Psalm remembers the wonder of the Exodus story, and is awestruck by God’s faithful commitment to the people of Israel. God has chosen to be in relationship with people, and for this we are full of joy!
The New Testament readings are also about relationships. The assumption in both these readings is that by virtue of our relationship with God, through the saving death of Jesus Christ, we enjoy relationship with each other.
Well, when I say ‘enjoy’… the Gospel reading faces one of the gritty realities of being in community together – sometimes our relationships are fractured.
We expect this in community, after all we’re only human!
And at this moment in history – a time of lockdowns, limited gathering sizes and physical distancing – these passages assume that the community is ‘worth it’. Being in community together is good and worth pursuing – investing in acts of restoration and rebuilding (just as God did through Christ).
The assumption that God made us for relationship, and that this is ‘good’, goes all the way back to Genesis
It is not good that he should be alone (Gen 2:18).[1]
The author Ruth Hassall sums up our God-given connectedness:
God didn’t create people to be self-sufficient and move through life alone: we need healthy supportive relationships.
The third reading (the letter to the Christians in Rome) guides us in HOW to live together. In relationship with one another, the guiding ethic is LOVE.
What does it look like to be a community guided by love? Well, it looks like consideration, respect, regard for others.
And in this letter to the Church, do you hear the urgency? It’s a call to action now: to live today the life God has opened up to us in Jesus.
These three readings about relationship are helpful for us at this moment, as we deepen our experiences of mentoring.
Mentoring is a specific expression of being in relationship.
And this month we are focusing on this theme of Mentoring, as one of eight formational experiences on our Pathway of Faith.
Mentoring is a specific expression of being in relationship. The expectation is that this intentional form of relationship forms faith in a constructive and cooperative way.
We want to learn more about mentoring that prioritises the formation of faith; having faith experiences together, and doing so intentionally. If we leave it to circumstance/accident/chance, then we miss out on a depth that comes from wanting and expecting something more substantial.
Mentoring involves listening, encouraging, being available, acceptance….it requires TIME.
The intentionality of mentoring as a relational experience stems from our recognition that we are the Church of Christ and we belong together.
So, we ‘show up’ (just like Jesus on earth) and we see what God does with us. We put ourselves in a place where we are humble. We don’t know all that we need. But God give us what really matters (sometimes through other people).
Why is mentoring important for faith formation? The experience of the Church recognises three reasons….
Having a significant adult in a young person’s life (other than a parent) makes an identifiable difference. This is the one consistent factor in those who have an active faith in adulthood – as a young person they knew someone cared about them and helped strengthen their faith in God.
Unanswered questions are driving young people away from the Church. This includes the question ‘Why does faith matter?’ The faith we have is for real life. It gives us the resources we need to meet the real challenges that come our way.
If we don’t walk with them….somebody else will. There are lots of worldviews floating around. How does this truth that spans generations ‘land’? In relationship we share in a genuine discovery of the reality of our existence. We benefit from the insight and wisdom of the experiences of the generations who have gone before us, as we participate in rituals, storytelling and rites of passage.
As we think about our own experiences at St John’s, we can be honest and say there are benefits of mentoring for us yet to fully discover – the opportunities we can grasp is one reason why we identified mentoring as a priority for our Pathway of Faith.
At the same time, there are some strengths we have at St John’s which work well with intentional mentoring relationships.
Seven mentoring strengths
Our all-age congregation
Our explicit commitment to fulfil the promises we make when we baptise a child (to nurture a person’s faith as they grow)
Our continuing commitment to ministry with young people.
Our belief in the life-long formation of disciples and the place of Christian education
Our desire to integrate faith with everyday life
Our understanding of the Priesthood of all believers. Each of us is called to participate in God’s mission by virtue of our baptism.
Our commitment to community – even during a public health crisis! We are not defined by this, but by the identity we have as we are clothed in Christ.
These strengths we have at St John’s means that even if we do not participate in the Mentoring Programme, being matched as a Mentor with a Mentee, we can participate in a form of mentoring through friendships.
Experienced through friendships, we may not always be the ‘mentor’… We may not always be the ‘mentee’. We may sometimes be encouraging; we may sometimes be encouraged.
It doesn’t matter much.
What matters is that we experience faith formation through these friendships with each other.
Which brings me to the Frankenstein monster. In the 1935 movie Bride of Frankenstein, the monster (played by Boris Karloff) is injured and fleeing. And he comes across a man living alone in a cottage in the middle of nowhere.
The monster is attracted by the beautiful music the man in the cottage is playing on a violin. The man in the cottage is blind, so unfazed by the monster’s hideous appearance, he welcomes the monster into his home.
The man is blind, and the monster can’t speak. And the man recognises that they have something in common: they are both afflicted.
The man explains he has prayed for a long time that God would send him a friend. He prays to God, thanking God for showing him mercy, recognising his loneliness and bringing him a friend.
As the Frankenstein monster shares this friendship with the blind man, he softens – beginning to show emotion and learning to speak.
His pursuers catch up with him, and the monster flees for his life once again. But for a moment, we see how friendship has a humanising effect.
What do friendships offer you in your faith journey?
Let me ask you to consider one specific aspect of friendship… Do you take counsel from a friend? When making a decision, do you ask a friend what they think, as part of your decision-making?
When we count on our friends; when we are transparent and honest with them, then we share wisdom and are able to better discern the way ahead.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, many are the kisses of the enemy. (Proverbs 27:5)
Do you take the risk to hear what a friend will say? Do you take counsel?
One way we experience relationships as formative for our faith is by praying for each other. And we are going to pray for others now…
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[1] The recognition that we are made for relationship also comes from our understanding of the nature of God. God’s own being is revealed to us as relational being (tri-personal: Father, Son and Holy Spirit – three persons/one substance). We are created in God’s image, and we participate in this relational being. We are creatures blessed by relationships of giving and receiving.